One day, I had the fortune to find myself sharing a pasta lunch with friends in Rome. Street vendors in Rome not only peddle their wares in the middle of the piazza, but will roam freely through restaurants and try to sell you their stuff—flowers, trinkets, and sometimes more unusual things. On that day, a vendor spotted the four of us girls in the tiny café and came directly to our table. He showed us what he was selling: a flesh-toned rubber bustier, complete with big pink nipples. We looked at the thing. We looked at him. We looked at each other . . . e siamo morte di riso (we died laughing).
Ever since then, whenever I’ve doubted myself, felt self-conscious about producing my own shows, or wondered if what I do is any good, I remember that somewhere out there, a guy is trying to make his living by selling big rubber bras. I learned that no matter what, crazier people are selling stupider stuff than I am. It’s become my mantra. Crazier people are selling stupider stuff than I am. Try using it yourself. Feel free to exchange the word “stuff” for a more colorful noun of your choice.
Conservatory training paradoxically does not prepare you to pursue creative ideas. Instead, we learn to try to fit a certain paradigm, compete in the same way that everyone else competes, and meet other people’s expectations of what we’re supposed to be doing with our careers. Creativity means the opposite of this: taking risks, embracing the chance of failure, and learning as you go. When you’re striking out on your own, it’s normal to wonder if you’re making the best choice. In order to feel better about it—and inspire confidence in others—here are some ways you can change your mindset and behaviors to validate your project to yourself and others.
Talk about your project with confidence. Ever hear about the importance of positive self-talk? It’s the idea that how we talk and think about ourselves has direct consequences on how we feel and perform. If I forget all the good things about my last recital and fixate on one mistake, I’ll think the whole performance was poor. Positive self-talk means doing the reverse.
Being positive becomes even more important when you talk with others about a musical endeavor. If someone asks, “How are your plans for your concert series coming along?” and I answer, “Oh, I don’t really know what I’m doing,” I’ve now put my project down in my own opinion and in someone else’s. You don’t have to make everything you do sound like the best thing ever; just explain in simple terms what it is you’re doing and focus on all the progress you’ve made toward it already.
Say, for example, that your idea is to start a musical group whose mission is to bring together people of different faiths or backgrounds. Define who those different people are, describe how you’re going to bring them together, why it’s important to do this via opera, and write it down in a clear one- to two-sentence statement. So when someone asks you how it’s coming along, you’ll already have articulated a vision for yourself, which will help you believe that you really do know what you’re doing and will keep you encouraged to follow through. People will also be impressed by your clarity of purpose, drawing further momentum to your goals.
Along those lines, commit to whatever you’re doing 110 percent. Take a page out of an actor’s training: if you believe it, the audience will believe it too. Do you feel that Orfeo is crying out to be performed in boats on a swimming pool? Is it time for a gender-reversed Iolanthe? Think Don Giovanni would improve if it took place in Spanish Harlem? These are productions that may sound a little loopy on the surface, but all came to fruition because the people who dreamed them up were committed to seeing them through. Be that person for the enterprise you have in mind, and whatever it is—maybe short of selling bustiers in restaurants—will inspire confidence.
Take all criticism in context. Some people will always be alarmists; others will have a valid point. In either case, thank them for raising the issue, address it as best you can, and carry on with what you are doing. For example, say your costume designer told you weeks ago to buy wigs from a particular website. You didn’t do it, because you had other things going on, you weren’t convinced your show really needed wigs, or you figured you would just buy them later. It is now too late to order them online, wigs costs much more in stores (something the designer hadn’t mentioned), and now he’s looking panicked and annoyed and saying you ruined his vision. I like to diffuse this situation with three little words: “You’re absolutely right.” It disarms and surprises the person who is unhappy and takes you off the defensive. You then ask. “How can we make this right?” Borrow wigs, maybe try some hats, find cheaper wigs, etc. Productions bring many problems, but truly none is entirely without a solution.
When in doubt, just do it. Make your project happen. Don’t do it just sometimes—make it a routine to spend some time every day getting your vision off the ground. Unlike, say, the pyramids in Egypt, a musical endeavor is not a permanent thing. The minute your last performance ends you have to be thinking about the next one. In order for that to happen, you have to make it a habit to think about things all the time and take action as needed.
The challenge with this is that when you’re working on something that you’ve created on your own—an opera company, a concert series, a music blog, anything—you’d be surprised how quickly you can get sick of it. It will never be perfect or finished and, unlike performing for someone else’s gig, you don’t move on from your own project and never look back. It becomes part of who you are, and working on it, just like when you practice, can feel like a daily confrontation with your own shortcomings.
But think of it this way: whatever your project is, it could be worse. You could have a basement full of plastic bras that you need to peddle on the street every day. Chances are good that if you have a vision for your project, you can also muster the skills to make it happen. Ever have doubts? Just remember your mantra.
