Guest columnist Kylie Evans explores how to build healthy relationships in a competitive singing industry.
You might have heard the popular phrase “Music is not a competition, it’s a conversation.” This saying, often shared among musicians, serves as a reminder that the true essence of creating music is one of connection, not rivalry. And yet, the environment of conservatories and university music programs can feel intensely competitive. Whether it be auditions, solo opportunities, or scholarships, the pressure to stand out can create an atmosphere of rivalry that feels unavoidable. While competition does push you to grow, an overly cutthroat mindset can lead to stress, burnout, and strained relationships. Sounds like a recipe for trouble, right?
Choosing to foster a mindset of collaboration over competition can lead to long-term success, stronger musicianship, and a more fulfilling career. By shifting perspectives, building supportive peer relationships, and embracing teamwork, you as a singer and musician can thrive in an industry that is built not on individual achievement alone, but on the power of making music with your friends and colleagues.
The Reality of Competition in Music School
Music schools are, for better or worse, structured around competition. As a student you compete for limited spots in ensembles, scholarships, solo performances, and professional opportunities. The pressure to prove yourself can lead to an atmosphere where you start to view your peers as rivals rather than collaborators.
While some level of competition is necessary—after all, auditions and juries are part of every musician’s career—it can also have some negative effects. Constant comparison can lead to imposter syndrome, where you feel like you are never good enough, no matter how much you practice. Toxic competition can also create resentment and isolation, preventing you from forming meaningful connections with your peers.
At the same time, competition isn’t inherently bad. It can push singers to strive for excellence and develop discipline. I know it did for me when I was in school. I remember seeing some of my peers who I thought were absolutely amazing, and they inspired me to work hard so I could sound as skilled as them. But this healthy, competitive drive should stem from inspiration and not overbearing comparison.
This drive should also be balanced with the knowledge that none of us can create great music alone. Even if you are singing a solo recital, you still work with a collaborative pianist. Without their collaboration on your performance, would it be the same? Definitely not. The most successful musicians are not just those who play or sing the best, but those who know how to work well with others.
The Benefits of Collaboration over Competition
Choosing to focus on collaboration instead of rivalry can have significant benefits for your overall well-being, both in school and beyond. Here are some examples of what a collaborative mindset can help you with:
- Emotional and Mental Well-Being: A competitive environment can be mentally exhausting, but a supportive community helps reduce stress and fosters resilience. Knowing that your peers want to see you succeed can make music school a more enjoyable and sustainable experience.
- Skill Development: Music has always inherently been a team effort. Whether putting on a recital, singing in a choir, or performing in an opera or musical, singers must learn to listen, adapt, and work well with others for the performance to be successful. Working collaboratively with peers by sharing practice tips, giving each other constructive feedback, and rehearsing together improves musicianship in ways your individual practice cannot.
- Networking and Career Growth: In the professional world, success often depends on relationships. Many performance and teaching opportunities come from peer recommendations. The singers and collaborative pianists you study with today may become your future colleagues, collaborators, or even employers. Building strong, positive relationships in school can open doors later in your career.
- Learning from the Music Industry: Some of the most successful performances thrive because of successful collaboration. Think of legendary musicians who have further developed their abilities by performing with different artists, or famous composers who worked closely with different orchestras and conductors. Even solo artists rely on producers, session musicians, and managers to bring their work to life. The ability to work well with others is just as valuable as technical skill. You as a singer cannot create music without help from others.
Strategies for Fostering Healthy Relationships
Shifting from a competitive mindset to a collaborative one requires conscious effort. Here are some practical ways to build strong, supportive relationships with your peers.
- Shift Your Mindset—View Peers as Colleagues, Not Threats: This one might be the hardest, but instead of seeing other students as obstacles to your success, try to view them as future collaborators. Everyone in your program has unique strengths, and learning from each other can be mutually beneficial.
- Engage in Collaborative Projects: Take advantage of multiple opportunities to make music with your peers. Join a chamber ensemble, collaborate on a composition, or form a band. These experiences not only improve musicianship but also create lasting friendships.
- Offer and Accept Constructive Feedback: Instead of being overly critical of yourself or others, develop the habit of giving and receiving feedback in a way that is encouraging and growth oriented. Learning to critique without tearing others down—and receiving critiques without taking them personally—is a crucial skill in any musical career.
- Celebrate Others’ Successes: It can be hard to see a peer win an audition or get a solo you wanted, but celebrating their success fosters a positive environment. Their win does not mean your failure. Supporting your peers creates a culture where everyone feels valued.
- Handle Competitive Moments with Grace: Competitions, auditions, and seating placements are inevitable. If you don’t get the position you wanted, use it as a learning experience rather than a reason for resentment. Similarly, if you do succeed, remain humble and supportive of your peers.
- Recognize that Differences Are Important for Collaboration: No two people are the same, and no one’s vocal instrument is the same as another’s either. That means sometimes someone else will be better suited for a role or a solo opportunity. This doesn’t mean you are not good enough; it means that we all will have different opportunities to share our unique abilities. How boring would it be in a performance if every person sounded the same all the time?
Long-term Benefits of a Collaborative Mindset
A collaborative approach in music school doesn’t just create a better learning environment, it sets the foundation for a successful and fulfilling career. You develop a stronger professional network as the connections you make in school often lead to gigs, job opportunities, and collaborations down the road. Your career will be more fulfilling: making music is about communication and connection. A career built on collaboration is more rewarding than one driven by isolation and rivalry. And your musicianship will improve! Working with others helps develop listening skills, adaptability, and a deeper understanding of music.
Music school can feel like a competition, but in the real world, success depends on collaboration. While competition can be motivating, it should never come at the cost of meaningful relationships and personal well-being. By shifting your mindset, embracing teamwork, and supporting your peers, you can build a strong foundation for both your career and personal growth. The most successful musicians are not those who stand alone, but those who lift others up and create music together.
Would you rather spend your time trying to outshine your peers or making music that inspires and connects? The choice is yours—but you will find that as you choose collaboration, your career and life will be much more fulfilling.
