Dear CS: I just read your editorial “When Is it Kind to be Cruel?” in the June issue, in which you ask for suggestions as to what to say to a singer friend, student or spouse whose weight was at an unhealthy, high level.
I would definitely tell this singer that although it is not easy to lose weight, and that appearances should not be the major reason for hire for a singing job, he or she would broaden their career opportunities by getting down to a healthier weight. Like it or not, we are in show business after all!
I, myself, realized this just a year ago. I wasn’t huge by any means, but I weighed more than I should and realized that I was letting one of my assets—my good looks—go to the dogs. This career of ours is extremely competitive, and since there are so many factors beyond our control, it doesn’t make any sense not to fix the things that are within our power. I would also emphasize that if the singer decided not to lose weight, he or she must recognize the importance of coming across as very self-confident and comfortable at that size. The singer must also keep in mind that many people doing the hiring are really concerned about appearances and want singers who look the part. On the other hand, I have met working singers who are very overweight and not very attractive in the traditional sense. However, they seem to do fine and are making a good living singing, which I attribute to their very strong sense of self and their belief in their own talents.
—Name Withheld
Dear CS: In my years teaching voice at a Texas university, I have been faced with the issue of discussing weight with a student. Fortunately, in most cases I was able to gear the discussion towards fitness, exercise and the role of good health in a reliable singing technique. These singers had reached a point where progress could only be made by making a physical shift. It was not necessary to discuss weight in terms of pounds, and these singers were not obese. They were simply not healthy, and were not exercising, and it was affecting their ability to get the most out of their breathing apparatus. I highly encourage all my students, thin or heavy, to engage in some regular aerobic activity even if it is just brisk walking. I have found it to be a great asset in my students’ singing as well as in my own.
—R.W.
Dear CS: I read with interest the editorial by CJ Williamson regarding singers and being overweight, and I am reminded of the expression, “If you don’t want to hear the answer, don’t ask the question.” If the singer were genuinely interested in my opinion and seemed serious about singing and thick-skinned enough to take it, I wouldn’t hold anything back. However, I would never say this to someone unless they asked me. Anyone truly serious about a singing career has access to information such as your publication, which advises us repeatedly that the whole “package” is important. None of us should be so vain about the beauty of our voices to think nothing else matters. I myself am continuously trying to knock off those extra few pounds that still seem to hang on after the birth of my son. I can empathize with both sides of the question, but I also refuse to just “give in” to my own natural tendency to put on weight.
Another piece of advice that might be helpful to the overweight singer is to consider some kind of therapy to find the root cause of overeating. Is it depression at not getting work? Having unsupportive or negative teachers or significant others in our lives? The stress of having to live on singer’s wages? Or is it some sort of subconscious self-sabotage? Of course, the singer that doesn’t fit the current idea of healthy weight could also consider focusing on a concert career.
These are my humble opinions and I hope we can all learn from and support each other.
—Lisa Mehdipour
Dear CS: I think that people generally know when they are heavy and they really don’t need to be told. Society does quite a number on us that way. But I think many singers who are just starting their careers do not realize that times have changed. How often (when I was thin) I heard people tell me I couldn’t be an opera singer because I wasn’t fat! My question isn’t about whether people know this about themselves but, rather, do they know that it isn’t likely for someone who is my current size (22) to be hired as a Cherubino? I just think it would be wiser to face career facts, but I’m not sure that this is the same thing as learning to accept and love yourself.
—Name Withheld
