Ego, or how we think of ourselves, often gets in the way of desired results. Here are three of the most common, most paralyzing ego risks.
• Rejection. You might be stopped in your tracks because you don’t want to hear “no.” All sales efforts carry the risk of being turned down. Practice hearing it and moving on. Rejection cannot hurt you unless you let it stop you.
• Embarrassment. You might not be qualified. You might not know what to say. You might say something wrong. These feel like risky situations. But what do you have to lose? A little ego and one attempt at success. If you make a mistake, you’ll know what to do better the next time. Do not let this stop you from acting.
• Failure. No one likes to try something difficult and then get no results, or end up further behind. Failure can help you improve if you don’t let it discourage you. Give your ego a time-out. You will be more willing to take risks which will help you move closer to your goal. In additon, when hiring managers sense that your ego is in check, you will be able to build more trust with them.
As you go through a job-search cycle, you may begin to doubt that anyone will hire you. You may be tempted to take yourself out of the game. You might stop networking or pursuing desired opportunities. You might quit following up on leads, or even tell prospective employers that you’re not interested after all.
The author, Richard Paul Evans, tells a story about taking himself out of the game. In high school, he dreamed for months about asking a particularly beautiful girl out. She sat right next to him in one of his classes and he resolved to take her to the homecoming dance. But each time he tried to ask, his fear took over, and he chickened out. Sadly, she went to homecoming with someone else. At a reunion years later, after both were married to other people, she asked Richard why he had never asked her out. She had had a crush on him all along!
Richard had failed by default. He eliminated himself from success when he let assumptions and risk control his choice. He assumed her answer would be no. Fearing the ensuing rejection and failure, he quit before he even had the chance to succeed. Avoid selling yourself short by giving up too early in the process. Let prospective employers tell you “no”—do not do it for them.
We all know the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed . . .” But the reality is that failure hurts. And most of us will avoid repeating painful experiences if we have a choice. I’ve watched several of my clients push their efforts intensively for a while, and then when something goes wrong they give up. Even worse, I’ve seen them return to a job or a pay level that they planned to leave behind because their disappointments were too stressful. After failing in their first few attempts at improving their situation, they decided it was either too hard or not worth the stress.
It’s easy to lose your motivation to continue a job search if you’ve suffered feelings of defeat. Indeed, doubts about your ability to succeed may even compound your stress.
Persistence through the pain of failure is a key to changing your work life and achieving your goals. Whenever you experience a failure, you are getting critical feedback. All of your efforts—whether they yield positive or negative results—create valuable experience. And the information inherent in that experience directs your next decision and action.
Eventually, you will make progress. And those successes will outweigh the failures. Don’t let yourself “play it too safe.” Expect that you will be able to make the changes you desire. Then continue taking action toward your goal, even as you experience both failure and success.
