Mid-life crisis? Lifelong passion? Call it what you will, but in 2003, I found myself beginning the journey of a lifetime. After 18 years of nursing, I resigned my job in the in-patient hospital recovery room and found myself heading back to the classroom for the first time in, ahem, a really long time. Quite a few colleagues and friends thought I needed my head examined, but I had desired a degree in music ever since I was 17 years old. And, so, with the support of my husband, voice teacher, and immediate family members, I embarked on my lifelong goal—to have a “trained” voice as well as that long-desired degree.
I had no idea where this would take me or what I would do once I had completed the degree. I simply “took the plunge!” I must say, not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to leave a job and do what I did. My husband and I both knew that it would be a financial hardship, yet he was willing to sacrifice in order to have a happier wife and help me fulfill a dream.
At this point in my story, it’s important to note that I didn’t arbitrarily decide one day, “I want to be a singer!” I have spent most of my life doing something musical as an amateur. I always sang, beginning in my youth choir in the eighth grade, followed by high school chorus and a small group ensemble, All-State Chorus, and high school musicals (but never the lead). My first two years of college I sang with a small show choir. Additionally, I had decent musical skills: the ability to read music and play piano at an intermediate level.
I didn’t do anything musical, however, from 1985–1999. Marriage, career, an old house that needed renovating, and simply life got in the way. My first step returning to music was in 1999 when I joined a church choir. The director encouraged me to be a regular cantor—I was terrified, but forced myself to do it. With the choir and regular singing, my confidence increased and I was able to harness the courage I needed to begin private lessons. I had a wonderful mentor in Professor Linda Banister, who encouraged me to return to school. Therefore, in fall 2003, I entered Augusta University.
I jumped in taking a full load, along with opera workshop in the evenings. I loved the stimulation of being back in the classroom and challenge of learning new things. Returning to school as an adult is not for the faint of heart. Managing school with the issues that occur in adult life—a house and property to maintain, groceries to buy, meals to be cooked, helping out with sick grandparents and young nieces—is hard! Time management is paramount when a person undertakes something like this. Theory presented some challenges and gave me a migraine on a daily basis! I couldn’t grasp the concepts quickly enough and rarely finished a test within the allotted time frame. If it weren’t for the help of some wonderful young friends, I couldn’t have done it—it did take a village!
Next, there was the learning-to-sing part of the process. I had always had a pretty, but small “microphone” voice. The concept of an “open throat” was simple to understand but difficult to put into practice. Fortunately, my aforementioned mentor, Professor Banister, who was also my voice teacher, was very patient and encouraging, and somehow I progressed enough to become a vocal performance major. That felt really good!
Opera workshop was a wonderful training ground. I enjoyed every minute of it and was pretty good on the stage. Simultaneously, I became involved with the Augusta Opera, gaining even more experience in the chorus and even being awarded a few comprimario roles. This proved to be a fabulous learning experience. Furthermore, I was able to work with well known conductor Mark Flint several times a year. The days and years passed, the junior and senior recitals were accomplished and, finally, in fall 2008 I received my long-awaited degree in music as well as a performance/acting award.
But then what? I began teaching both voice and beginning piano and accepted a job as the soprano section leader at a local church. Additionally, I sang several solos for the local choral society, participated in two more operas and several musical theatre productions, and even served as the music director for The Music Man at a community theater. I even went on several out-of-town opera auditions, including at two companies in New York City. Much to my surprise, the New York Lyric Opera Theatre gave me a role in Suor Angelica and off I went to spend two weeks in NYC.
Five years passed. I had a steady stream of students and continued to perform locally. Still, I felt that my voice had not reached its full potential. As much as I didn’t want to be back in the school routine, I knew that I had more to learn. I applied and was accepted to the University of South Carolina School of Music on a fellowship, which helped with out-of-state tuition costs. With a sense of both excitement and trepidation, I began my hour-and-15-minute commute in fall 2014. I continued in this vein for five semesters, with an unexpected setback during fall 2016—the semester that I was to graduate.
As it happened, on the night of August 8, 2016, I had a heart attack. Never would I have thought that would happen to me, but we never know when life will throw us lemons. Following discharge from the hospital and new medications to manage the cause of my heart attack—a rare form of angina known as Prinzmetal angina—I then ended up back in the hospital for three more days with a severe drug reaction to an anticoagulant. Needless to say, I couldn’t finish my last semester as planned.
My wonderful voice teacher, Tina Milhorn Stallard, encouraged me to “take care of me” and try not to sweat the interruption. The job at hand became participating in the cardiac rehab program and adjusting to new meds, which helped the angina but left me feeling drained. Was I disappointed and aggravated? Oh, yes! But it was better than being “six feet under!” I used my “off” time wisely once I began to feel stronger. I dug deeper into my music, continued memorizing, and began making plans for my opera education outreach program: “Opera Out and About.” I revised my studio policy and began thinking about how to rebuild my studio as well as how to gain performance opportunities.
January 2017 arrived and back to USC I went, not feeling the best but nonetheless motivated! At this point I had the “just do it” mentality. The second week of school I began studying for the oral comprehensive exam, passing two weeks before my recital date. Finally, the long-awaited day arrived and on March 31 I sang my master’s recital. I actually pulled it off despite some stamina issues. Furthermore, I was inducted into the Pi Kappa Lambda National Music Honor Society. At long last I could check this goal off my bucket list and look forward to the next one.
As I made that final trip from Columbia to Augusta, I thought, “How did I do this for five semesters?” The answer is a major work ethic and oodles of determination, followed by a “when the going gets tough, the tough get going” mentality. I credit my nursing career and the many times that things were tanking—a patient dying and the chaos that surrounds a code, patient overload, and long, exhausting hours that require mental toughness and physical stamina.
Lastly, perseverance is key! Going back to school—and changing careers—is not for the faint of heart. However, if you have the mental fortitude, are able to keep the end goal in sight, and persevere despite challenges that will inevitably occur, it can be done. Ask yourself, “Will my life feel incomplete if I don’t pursue the dream?” If the answer is “yes” then just do it, knowing that it will be quite the journey! Know that there will be bumps in the road, tears, self-doubt, and a feeling of “What have I done? I must be crazy!”
But in the end a sense of accomplishment will prevail along with a peace that you achieved your dream and turned a lifelong passion into something viable. And that will make all of the bumpiness and craziness completely worthwhile.
