When I wrote about confidence versus self-worth in Part 1, I thought I was closing a thought, but in the weeks since, I’ve found myself returning repeatedly to the concept of worth: observing how it shows up in my conversations with producers, creatives, actors and ultimately in my own day-to-day life as well. I’ve come to realize that self-worth, or the absence of it, quietly shapes and impacts almost everything we do (and just as often, what we avoid doing) across the broader scope of our lives. In retrospect, my first article feels less like a conclusion and more like the start of a larger conversation. So here we go! Part 2: When Identity is Tied to a Role vs. Rooted in Worth.
During the final months of the pandemic, a casting colleague confided in me that she had “lost her entire identity” in the wake of theatre’s global shutdown. Her work as a casting director evaporated overnight along with most of the entertainment industry: no auditions, no productions, no role to play in the mechanics of theatre-making. Without that rhythm, she felt hollow and alone. I found her perspective curious. Had she really lost her entire identity? For years, the foundation of her advice to performers had been centered around (and probably still is) walking into the audition room with a regal air of confidence, and yet, when the world paused, her own confidence crumbled. Why? Her sense of worth was primarily tethered to her function (job, title, professional label, etc.) and when that was stripped away, her foundation collapsed.
Now, I have no doubt that her sermonizing came from a genuine desire to empower performers, but her experience revealed a paradox: confidence without worth isn’t empowerment at all. Sure, it’s easy to coach, easy to praise, and while it may provide a temporary quick-fix, it’s not going to get you where you want to go in the long run. Worth, on the other hand, endures beyond circumstance; confidence alone is not enough. After sleuthing through more than a few articles, research shows that during the pandemic, people’s self-esteem initially dipped but eventually began to rebound as they adapted to the new reality. Interestingly enough, those with a stronger internal sense of worth were less vulnerable to loneliness and anxiety in the face of the imposed isolation. Again, worth (not external validation) was what carried people forward.
Of course, I acknowledge the profound loss of health, loved ones and stability many of us had to endure. I am fully aware that in such grief, self-worth may not have felt front and center, but even then, holding fast to things that grounded us often became the thing that carried us through: reading that dusty old book once and for all, finishing that online course, setting up regular Zoom catch-ups with friends and family, or finally writing the play/novel/screenplay that sat heavy on mind and heart for decades. These weren’t just hobbies; they were acts of reclamation, ways of anchoring identity to something intrinsic, ways of finding small silver linings within the chaos.
Living the life of an artist will always be somewhat unpredictable and yes, chaotic. But if, in being a performer, your identity becomes so enmeshed and intertwined with your career, your latest credit, your connections, your follower count, etc., then when one (or all) of those disappears, you (like my fellow casting director) run the risk of disappearing as well. In contrast, a well-developed, robust sense of worth props you up when things get tough, keeps you moving one foot in front of the other, and best of all, tends to stick around.
