It happens all the time in opera: the soprano falls for the tenor. Gilda is smitten with the Duke in Rigoletto. Mimi can’t wait to tell Rodolfo her name in La bohème. Tosca loves Cavaradossi and takes her own life after witnessing his execution, and in Madama Butterfly Cio-Cio-San marries Pinkerton and dutifully waits for him to return to her—and also meets a tragic end.
Well, that’s opera! But what happens in real life when two opera singers—a soprano and a tenor—not only fall in love, but also decide to marry, buy a house, and start a family? This long-term production has no costumes; no wigs or stage makeup; no orchestra playing lush, romantic accompaniments; and most significantly, no score to tell you where the story is going or who sings next.
Tenor Mark Calkins and soprano Cynthia Lawrence have been married for 21 years and can provide some valuable insight into creating an enduring plot. Both are enjoying enviable singing careers—but they are also raising two beautiful daughters—Rowan, 11, and Shannon, 8—and share a home and a life together in Woodbury, Minn.
The two singers met in the summer of 1983 before beginning their master’s work at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Each planned to study voice with Barbara Doscher, renowned pedagogue and author of The Functional Unity of the Singing Voice. Mark first noticed Cindy when she was in rehearsal as Casilda in The Gondoliers. “I discovered (to my frustration) that she was dating a tenor from Wisconsin,” he remembers. “I soon found out the other tenor didn’t have a high-C—and, too bad for him, it was all over.”
Actually the singers dated for two months before ever hearing the other sing. They have found that their greatest assets as a couple are respect, love, and constancy. They believe that what benefits one, benefits the other, and cite mentors—Barbara Doscher in Boulder, and those at Lyric Opera of Chicago: Lee and Nell Schaenen, and Ardis Krainik—who have given them advice and unparalleled encouragement along the way.
Entering into the career
From the beginning, when they were just starting to build their careers, Calkins and Lawrence accepted singing engagements based on what the other was doing. Early on, both Santa Fe and Central City offered Mark apprenticeships. He declined the Santa Fe invitation to sing with Cynthia at Central City that summer.
Then, in 1985, the couple accepted an entire year of contracts together, touring with Tulsa Opera and Texas Opera Theatre, the education arm of Houston Grand Opera. Calkins and Lawrence followed this concurrently as ensemble members of the Lyric Opera Center for American Artists in Chicago from 1987–1990.
Calkins says his apprenticeships taught him things a music degree couldn’t—an understanding of just how thoroughly an opera role must be coached with respect to languages, interpretation, dramatic content, and context, working 10-hour days in a new, competitive, and demanding atmosphere.
“When I got into the Lyric Opera Center for American Artists, the paradigm shifted to a whole new plateau,” he says. “Suddenly I was on stage with the finest opera singers in the world. If your diction or vocal line was not great, you didn’t get to perform! The coaches knew their job was to get you to the highest level of preparation you were capable of achieving.”
Their careers exploded. Both Calkins and Lawrence had proven themselves capable singers in competition. Calkins placed at the Metropolitan Opera National Council regional auditions for four years, as well as placing in several other high stakes competitions such as the MacAllister International Operatic Awards, the International Concorso di Canto di Mozart, and the Denver Lyric Opera Guild Competition. Lawrence was a national finalist at the Metropolitan Opera National Council Auditions in 1984 and went on to win the MacAllister Award, the Luciano Pavarotti International Voice Competition, the International Concorso di Canto di Mozart, and the Birgit Nilsson Prize.
As offers began to roll in from opera companies, Calkins and Lawrence tried not to be apart more than two weeks at a time. Gradually the time away from each other crept to three weeks, then four and five weeks. They once spent 10 months apart, a time Calkins describes as a “marital cold.” “Luckily we recovered as a couple, stronger than before our sickness.”
Lawrence believes that being away from each other for extended periods of time made them realize that to grow and maintain their relationship they needed to know that their commitment to each other was their first priority.
Calkin’s operatic career has kept him busy for the past 24 years, not only on the stages of American companies such as Lyric Opera of Chicago, The Minnesota Opera, Opera Columbus and Opera Omaha, but also in Europe with l’Opera de Nantes, Cologne Opera, the Dublin Grand Opera and Wexford Opera. And Calkins is versatile. He toured Europe with the London Classical Players, singing the tenor solo in Rossini’s Stabat Mater under the baton of Roger Norrington one year (a Roman liturgy for Passion Week that describes the agonies of Jesus’ mother at the foot of the cross), and was hired to sing in the U.S. Broadway tour of Phantom of the Opera the next.
Calkins soon carved himself a niche in the Rossini repertoire. He has performed numerous roles, but those such as Count Almaviva in Il barbiere di Siviglia, Lindoro in L’Italiana in Algeri, the Count in Le Comte Ory, and the Prince in La Cenerentola have garnered critical acclaim. Opera News once exclaimed, “As the licentious Count Ory, Mark Calkins combined comic flair with vocal stylishness, his agile tenor easily dispatching the role’s many high-Cs and C-sharps.”
Meanwhile, in 1993 Lawrence began singing concerts all over the world with Pavarotti, even making special televised appearances—“Live from Lincoln Center,” “Pavarotti: My World,” and “Pavarotti Plus”—with him on PBS. In 1996, Tibor Rudas asked Lawrence to sign on as one of the “Three Sopranos”—along with Kallen Esperian and Kathleen Cassello—and she toured internationally for several years, traveling everywhere from Biloxi, Miss., to Berlin, to Bucharest.
Lawrence also fulfilled several opera contracts singing heroines such as Musetta, Liù, Adina, and Micaela. Soon she graduated to meatier roles, such as Verdi’s Lady Macbeth at Opera Colorado and Lavinia in Mourning Becomes Electra at Lyric Opera of Chicago. She made her Metropolitan Opera debut in 1996 as Rosalinda. Lawrence’s formidable voice and strong work ethic have garnered her invitations from The Washington Opera, Staatsoper Berlin, Opera National de Paris, and Covent Garden—and she seems to be gaining momentum. Most recently, Lawrence sang the role of Roxanne opposite Placido Domingo in the Metropolitan Opera’s production of Cyrano de Bergerac, Tosca at The Atlanta Opera, and Cio-Cio-San in the celebrated Anthony Minghella production of Madama Butterfly at the Met this past fall. She just signed a contract to sing Tosca at Royal Albert Hall in London in March 2008.
A balancing act
Neither Calkins nor Lawrence wanted to live in New York. The couple chose to settle in Minnesota for many reasons. Both had grown up in suburban areas and wanted to raise their own kids in that setting. Mark’s family was based in Minnesota—and conveniently, Northwest Airlines had a major hub nearby, which would enable them to get almost anywhere in the world with minimal connections.
When is the right time to have children? Lawrence believes there really is no ideal time to create a family and that a singer just needs to change his or her life and career accordingly. Age, contracts, and financial stability were all considerations for Calkins and Lawrence.
“No matter how much you read and prepare you never can quite understand the requirements of new parents until you’re there,” said Lawrence. “I discovered very quickly that opera rehearsals do not function around a baby’s feeding schedule.”
Lawrence is probably exceptional in what she can accomplish under extraordinary circumstances. She didn’t allow herself to slow down much during or after her pregnancies.
“With both births I was singing and performing into my eighth month and then fairly soon afterwards. With Rowan, our first child, I sang a concert with Luciano at four weeks after her birth and made my Met debut when she was 2 months old. With Shannon I did a concert tour in Norway and Germany when she was 3 weeks old.”
At first the couple hired nannies to take care of the girls. Some experiences were positive and others so frustrating that Calkins and Lawrence decided to ask for help from family and friends. Now that the girls are older, life is still a balancing act. Rowan and Shannon have gone along for the ride with both parents as they travel and work—and the girls have been going to dress rehearsals since they were very young.
Calkins explains that family travel is not always an easy proposition, however. “The first time I flew to Europe with the girls, our younger daughter Shannon was 2 months old and the connection was almost missed. We left America late and almost missed our transfer in Amsterdam’s Schipol airport. After running as far as a person can possibly run inside the airport we just made our flight to Berlin. I was still sweating when I got off the plane to meet Cindy. I was the quintessential picture of a haggard father!”
To better manage singing and family obligations Calkins and Lawrence have established a few ground rules for their lives, one being that the person who is in the States takes care of the children, unless a major, rare opportunity takes precedence. And during engagements that involve separation they are not apart for more than two or three weeks at a time.
How do these two opera singers keep track of it all when they book performances several years in advance?
“We keep a three-year calendar, our ‘bible of commitments’ that we constantly consult,” says Calkins. They prepare roles on the road or while the girls are in school. Planning family events can be a challenge because opera companies tend to hold off on making offers to singers until the companies have made their yearly budgets—and even then, bookings change and evolve.
Calkins juggles a teaching job at St. Olaf College, a performing career, and working on completing his doctoral degree at the University of Minnesota. Lawrence is on the road six to eight months a year. Rowan and Shannon are busy being kids—taking piano and choir, swimming and soccer—and Lawrence says they all make compromises. “I miss out on so much of their lives, being on the road, but try to get back home as often as I can between rehearsal and performance obligations. Mark carries the lion’s share of this load and is my hero.”
Fortunately, both Calkins and Lawrence have found artist managers—currently Op-Co Associates and Pinnacle Arts Management, respectively—that are understanding about family commitments, but acknowledge that flexibility is essential in this career. When Covent Garden extended Lawrence’s contract, for example, she flew home to pick up her 10-month-old daughter, returned to London with a dear friend who offered to help in the interim, and found another nanny quickly so she could continue the run of the show.
Dynamic Duo
In marriage, spouses are constantly negotiating the day-to-day aspects of life: the care and nurturing of children, planning schedules, managing finances, and standing by as the other follows a unique path to fulfill his or her individual vocation. Sharing a common career, especially one as competitive and passionate as opera, might strain some in the give-and-take of marriage, but Calkins and Lawrence do just fine. They even ask each other for advice about vocal technique and musical style.
Lawrence dubs Calkins her eyes and ears. “He studied with the same teacher, and learned and grew with me,” she says. “I trust him completely. He’s a strong and astute teacher. Even though at times the advice was not solicited, I always listened, thought about it, and knew that his intent was always kind and well meaning. More often than not, he was right on with his ideas and comments.”
As a result of their two decades in the field, Calkins and Lawrence also share some perspective about achieving a viable singing career. Always be prepared, they admonish, because mistakes or inattention to detail are remembered. “Jobs come from jobs much more often than from auditions,” Calkins says. “My first gig was Borsa in Rigoletto. It didn’t pay what I made as a landscape laborer in college—but, it turned into Remendado in Carmen and Ralph Rackstraw in HMS Pinafore the following season. Small parts turn into larger ones.”
Lawrence’s experience has also shown that covering a role can yield great benefit. She has gone onstage to sing about 85 percent of the parts she had originally been hired only to cover. It happened again this past November when Lawrence was under contract at the Met as first cover for the new Madama Butterfly. She was sitting in her dressing room studying some music for another last-minute engagement, two performances of the Zefferelli La bohème at the Met the following week. The second act of “Butterfly” was in full swing when management suddenly notified Lawrence she would be going on to sing Cio-Cio-San in the final act. Within 15 minutes, Lawrence was in full costume and makeup, and ready to finish the opera, with Maestro Levine at the podium.
“People ask if it was difficult to drop into the show at that point and I say ‘no.’ I always track the show mentally and musically when I’m covering,” she said. “Since I’ve sung Madame Butterfly so much, I also know myself [in the part] and the physical demands of the show.”
Lawrence recommends studying well in school so that you become so comfortable with your voice, technique, and languages that these everyday demands and stresses of a career in the “real world” won’t affect your instrument.
Survival and all it entails in the world of opera—musical preparedness, a colloquial knowledge of languages, a fit appearance, professionalism, and nerves of steel—seems to be the key to this opera couple’s success in a business that continues evolving to keep up with the expectations of modern audiences. In addition to possessing the compulsory vocal skill, today’s artists are subject to popular ideals hyped by mass marketing. In Lawrence’s opinion, the business is more competitive than ever. “There’s always someone better prepared, hungrier, or more willing to try it. In the end, a music degree doesn’t get you the job, the voice and the overall package do.”
Words of Wisdom
Having a marriage and a family is a personal choice, but Calkins believes that if you don’t make the time for a family you probably won’t have one. For Calkins and Lawrence this means a lot of time talking to each other on the phone and visits that may only last for 24 hours—and they travel as a family whenever feasible.
“It can be easy to get lost in the glamour of riding in limos, recordings, and stardom,” remarks Lawrence, “But in the end, your best friend and spouse, your children, and family are the most important reasons to work and sing. Sometimes what may seem a burden can be the thing that bears the greatest fruit in your life. My family is what will be there at the end of a terrific rehearsal to cheer me on and support me, or at the end of a disappointing and frustrating performance or rehearsal to console me and encourage me to keep working and to try again—and will be there at the end of the career.”
