Career Development: One Question, Two Answers

Barbara Massury, an executive coach and consultant, and internationally acclaimed soprano Mary Elizabeth Williams team up to tackle your questions about career development, stress management, and work/life balance.

Question: I have a big problem with comparing myself to others, both in singing and teaching. I am more successful letting that go when I am performing but, perhaps because I’ve only been teaching for a short time, my tendency to doubt myself is harder to deal with when I’m teaching—especially when I have to “perform” in front of other teachers. The fear of being judged leaves me unproductively anxious. How can I stop worrying about what people think?

Massury: When navigating a lateral career move such as transitioning from a practitioner to a teaching role, it is important to recognize that this shift often entails a quiet but profound change in perspective. What may initially seem like a change in function is, in fact, a redefinition of role, context, experience, and value.

Such transitions or temporary shifts benefit from a conscious awareness of judgment patterns, both personal and professional, and how they may influence perception in a new environment. It is common to carry forward cognitive frameworks and behavioral habits shaped by previous roles. However, applying the dynamics of one context unexamined to another can lead to misalignment.

The move from practice to teaching, for example, requires careful differentiation. A practitioner entering education operates within a new set of objectives is often less experienced in pedagogical systems and engages with different institutional expectations. And yet, this position also holds a distinct advantage: the ability to contribute a craft-informed, industry-rooted perspective, combined with the clarity of an external viewpoint.

Rather than interpreting limited teaching experience as a shortcoming, it is more constructive to frame it as a complementary asset: bringing new insight, depth, and applied knowledge into the educational setting. Success in such transitions often hinges on the ability to communicate this shift thoughtfully. Highlighting the value of prior experience, acknowledging the learning curve, and inviting dialogue about the unique contributions being offered can foster mutual understanding and credibility. Lateral moves are less about starting over and more about reframing the familiar in a new light—with discernment, humility, and strategic clarity.

Williams: You are not alone in worrying about how we are being judged. It is natural to want other people to like us, to respect us, and to approve of our choices, but the inconvenient truth is that we have absolutely no control over what other people think of who we are, what we do, or what we offer to the world. And nothing we can do, say, or sing will change that fact! This obstacle is immovable and must be lived with. 

When we begin anything from a place of worry about how people are going to react to us, we often display a censored, varnished, or muted version of ourselves. In seeking to avoid offense, we often suppress the the most compelling and interesting parts of who we are: our outlier elements. So, my advice is, be unabashedly who you are. Fly your flag high, and be resigned to the fact that you will not be everyone’s cup of tea. Some people will steer clear, because they will be able to understand quickly by the clarity of your emblem that you are not what they seek. The people who will appreciate you, though — those who will find value in what you do and who you are, will be drawn to you. Don’t try to please everyone. Please yourself, and let the magnetism of your true being lead you to your tribe.

Barbara Massury and Mary Elizabeth Williams will continue to examine mid-career transition questions in their online column. They will be responding to anonymous questions from their unique but complementary points of view. Please submit your questions to Barbara and Mary Elizabeth by writing to them at twoanswersonequestion@gmail.com. You can also contact them at crescendo-leadership.com.