Show Synopsis:
Tess Harding, a television personality, reminisces about an on-air editorial where she insulted cartoonists and resulted in an insulting cartoon of Tess. The cartoonist, Sam, and Tess started dating after he showed up at her office to discuss the cartoon, and they finally married. They found that they did not have a lot of time for each other in their marriage, and after Sam makes remarks about marriage in his popular comic strip, they fight, and Sam suggests that they split up. Back in the present day, Tess is about to accept a high-profile award, and finds it difficult to be happy when her career has cost her the love of her life. A few weeks later, Tess asks her friend Alexi Petrikov for his advice on balancing her personal and professional lives, and he tells her that he is giving up his career to move back to Russia and be with his wife. Tess goes to see her first husband and his new wife to see how their relationship works well, and makes the decision to give up her career to concentrate on being a wife. Sam tells her that they will both keep working - they will just have to work harder at making good joint decisions.
Character:
Jan Donovan, a cheerful housewife married to Tess?s former husband Larry.
Song Context:
Tess asks Jan for advice on how to be a satisfactory wife, and Jan reveals that she is entranced by Tess?s own life.
Fun Facts:
1) This musical was loosely based on the 1942 Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy film of the same name.
2) The 1942 movie was set in 1940s, which was a very different time than the 1980s for a woman to be a housewife in America. The pressures and relationships that the women feel in this song would have been very foreign to them.
3) Marilyn Cooper originated the role of Jan on Broadway and won a Tony Award for her performance.
"JAN
I?ll bet all your friends are celebrities.
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
You can make a pot roast.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
First you brown an onion.
Is your picture up at Sardi?s?
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
You can clean an oven!
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
First you get the E-Z Off!
BOTH
Ah, the grass is always greener
On somebody else?s estate.
Ah, the meat is always leaner
On somebody else?s dinner plate.
TESS
But you can sew a button on.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
Bet you go to discos!
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
First you take a Valium!
I can see you planning picnics.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
Eating at the White House ?
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
First they pass the jelly beans.
BOTH
Ah, the grass is always greener
On somebody else?s front lawn.
Ah, somebody else?s weiner
Always has a lot more relish on.
JAN
You saved the whales in Newfoundland.
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
You can run a household.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
First you have a breakdown.
You?re always in the magazines.
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
You can hold a husband.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
There?s more to life than husbands.
TESS
I could use a husband.
JAN
You can have my husband.
TESS
I?ve already had your husband!
BOTH
Ah, it makes you kind of teary.
Ah, think about it dearie.
The grass is always greener
In someone else?s yard.
It?s hard!
JAN
I?ll bet you ride in limousines.
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
You?ve got time for luncheons.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
First you sell the Tupperware.
The public wants your autograph.
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
You raised a teenage daughter.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
First you find her diaphragm.
?BOTH
Ah, the grass is always greener
Where some other tenant pays the rent.
Ah, the teeth is always cleaner
In somebody else?s polident.
TESS
Do you know who your neighbors are?
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
You know Rona Barrett!
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
First you keep your mouth shut.
I bet you squeeze the Charmin.
That?s wonderful!
JAN
What?s so wonderful?
You can make headline.
That?s wonderful!
TESS
What?s so wonderful?
I?d rather make a pot roast.
JAN
So go brown an onion
TESS
And have some peace and quiet.
JAN
You?ve already had my husband!
BOTH
Ah, everyone?s a victim
Of this ducky little dictum:
The grass is always greener
In somebody else?s yard.
It?s hard!"