Show Synopsis:
A bunch of actors decide to put on a comedic play and instruct the audience on how to behave. In the play, Dionysus wants to go to Hades with his servant Xanthias to bring back George Bernard Shaw to correct the deplorable state of society, and his half-brother Heracles tells Dionysus to pretend he is Heracles in his lion suit to cross the River Styx into the Underworld. The Frogs take him from Charon's boat on the river during the night, and Dionysus manages to escape back to the boat. Aeakos vows to kill Dionysus, believing he is Heracles, who killed Aeaekos' three-headed dog, so Dionysus gives the lion suit to Xanthias. Whereas Xanthias is seduced by Charisma when he wears the suit, Dionysus is threatened by Virilla, Queen of the Amazons, when he takes it back. Pluto enters and accepts Dionysus for himself, and Dionysus proposes a poetry contest between Shaw and William Shakespeare. His deceased wife Ariadne appears to suggest the final topic of the contest - death - and William Shakespeare is declared the winner. Xanthian decides to stay in the underworld while Dionysus takes Shakespeare back to the world of the living to urge the audience to take action to solve earthly problems.
Character:
First Actor and Second Actor, two Greek actors who want to put on a sucessful play and will later star as Dionysus and Xanthias.
Song Context:
Having decided to produce a comedic play instead of a tragic one, the two actors decide that they need the help of the audience in order for their play to be successful.
Fun Facts:
1) This musical was loosely based on The Frogs by Aristophanes.
2) Sondheim intended for this song to act as a modern Greek dramatic prologue, humorously introducing the story and the players.
3) Nathan Lane played Dionysus in the 2004 Broadway premiere of this show, and he helped heavily with the new adaptations of the text. In an interview with John Guare, he said that "[t]here's something idealistic about the notion of someone believing that the arts can make a difference, that you can effect a change. Dionysos' dream to go down to Hades and bring back this great writer who could actually have an effect on the world, it's noble and touching and crazy?all at the same time. I found it moving, in light of what was going on in the world."
"1ST ACTOR
Gods of the theater, smile on us.
2ND ACTOR
You who sit up there stern in judgment,
Smile on us.
1ST ACTOR
You who look down on actors...
BOTH
(spoken)
And who doesn't?
(singing)
Bless this yearly festival and smile on us.
1ST ACTOR
We offer you song and dance.
2ND ACTOR
We offer you rites and revels.
BOTH
We offer you grace and beauty.
Smile on us for this while.
1ST ACTOR
Gods of the theater, smile on us.
2ND ACTOR
You who sit out there stern in judgment,
Smile on us.
BOTH
We offer you song and dance.
We offer you rites and revels.
We offer you gods and heroes.
We offer you jokes and insults,
We offer you paeans and pageants
Bacchanals and social comment.
Bless our play and smile.
1ST ACTOR
(speaking)
Yes, but first, some do's and don'ts. Mostly don'ts.
(sung)
Please don't cough,
It tends to throw the actors off.
Have some respect for Aristophanes
And please,
Don't cough.
Don't say ""What?""
To every line you think you haven't got.
And if you're in a snit
Because you've missed the plot
(Of which I must admit
There's not an awful lot),
Still, don't
Say --
2ND ACTOR
What?
1ST ACTOR
If you see flaws, please,
Don't drop your jaws, please.
No loud guffaws, please,
When actors enter late.
2ND ACTOR
When there's a pause, please,
Lots of applause, please.
And we'd appreciate
You turning off your cell phones while we wait.
1ST ACTOR
Don't go ""Oh,""
Each time you see an actor that you know.
And if you have to use the lounge below,
Don't wait until we're halfway through the show,
Especially if you're sitting in the middle of a row.
2ND ACTOR
No smokes, no chow --
1ST ACTOR
Unwrap the candy wrappers now.
When we are waxing humorous,
Please don't wane.
The jokes are obscure, but numerous --
We'll explain.
2ND ACTOR
When we are waxing serious,
Try not to laugh.
1ST ACTOR
It starts when we get imperious,
And if you're in doubt, don't query us,
We'll signal you when we're serious --
BOTH
It's in the second half.
2ND ACTOR
Do not intrude, please,
When someone's nude, please.
She's there for mood, please,
And mustn't be embraced.
1ST ACTOR
If we are crude, please,
Don't come unglued, please.
Let's not be too strait-laced --
The author's reputation wasn't based
On taste.
So please, don't fart --
There's very little air and this is art.
And if you feel offended,
Don't lose heart.
2ND ACTOR
That's what the man intended.
He was smart.
BOTH
When everything's up-ended,
We can all depart.
And now...
But first --
We start"