Please Don't Touch Me

Please Don't Touch Me

From: Young Frankenstein
By: Brooks
Voice Type(s): Alto,Mezzo,Belt

Melody
B ♭/A ♯
Full
B ♭/A ♯

Show Synopsis:
Dr. Frederick von Frankenstein is ashamed of his family name, since it is associated with the man who brought the dead back to life and created a monster. He inherits his grandfather's castle in Transylvania and has to say goodbye to his flirtatious fiancee to travel to the castle for awhile. The descendant of his grandfather's henchman, Igor, meets him in Transylvania, convinced that he and the new Dr. Frankenstein will make many scientific breakthroughs with the beautiful lab assistant Inga. Frederick becomes enthralled with his grandfather's scientific journals and decides to reanimate a dead body, but Igor accidentally puts an abnormal brain into a normal body. The Monster wakes up and runs away from the castle and the townspeople chase him to capture him. Frederick and Inga have a romantic moment right before Frederick's fiancee Elizabeth arrives out of the blue. When the Monster is captured, Frederick shows him love and teaches him to sing and dance so that he will be adored by an audience. During Frederick and the Monster's performance, a stage light explodes and the Monster runs away with Elizabeth and they fall in love. Frederick tries to transfer his intelligence to the Monster, but it does not appear to work, and the town hangs Frederick for (apparently) killing Elizabeth. The Monster, now an intelligent creature, arrives and revives Frederick, and just as the crowd turns on both of them, Elizabeth reappears and accepts the Monster's marriage proposal. The Monster is elected Mayor of Transylvania, Frederick decides to live in his grandfather's castle, and Inga agrees to marry him.

Character:
Elizabeth Benning, a beautiful woman who loves the lavish and extravagant things in life a little too much; wants to love Frederick but knows that something is missing in their relationship.

Song Context:
Elizabeth sees Frederick off at the train station, but does not let her touch him, since she is abstaining from any contact that may muss her perfect appearance. 

Fun Facts:
1. This musical was based on the popular 1974 Mel Brooks film. 
2. This song is based on a popular comic moment of the film when Frederick keeps trying to say goodbye to Elizabeth with a passionate embrace and she keeps blowing him off with ?please don?t touch me.? 
3. Megan Mullally wrote a piece for broadway.com about her experience in Young Frankenstein and described Elizabeth as ?just a great, silly, ridiculous character. I love the fact that she's a dork?she thinks she's awesome, and she would be in the minority.?
    

"Dream all you want my darling
Of every lustful situation.
Those naughty thoughts
Are fine with me
As long as they
Stay locked away
In your imagination

You can hug me ?til I scream
If it's only in a dream,
But please don't touch me.
You can feel me ?til I squeal
Just as long as it's not real,
But please don't touch me.

You can stick me,
You can lick me,
You can pinch me ?til I'm blue,
You can bite me,
And delight me ?til I'm blind.
You can savage me
And ravage me.
I care not what you do
If the lovely filthy things you do
Are only in your mind.

You can spank me ?til I'm red
If it's only in your head,
But please don't touch me.
You can have me, don?t you see,
If it's just a fantasy,
But please don't touch me.

After our wedding,
You'll be oh so glad we waited.
Until then,
Take cold showers when you're overstimulated.
Anticipation is sublime
And although you might think I'm
A tease,
Please don't touch me.

Do not hug us,
Do not drug us,
Do not slug us ?til we cry.
Do not throb us,
Do not rob us of our wits.
But even in your wildest dreams,
Don't dare to touch our tits,
Don't dare to touch our tits.

Don't dare to touch our tits!
Don't touch our tits,
Don't touch our tits,
Don't touch our
Tits, tits, tits, tits
Tits, tits, tits, tits
Tits!
Our tits!

When we're absolutely wed
You can do it ?til we're dead
?Til then please, please, please
I?m down on my knees.
Please keep your hands off these,
Please don't touch me,
Please don't touch me,
She's so touchy
Oh!"