Big news! My saviour has arrived!
My intuition's never been so strong!
Big News! My career has been revived
All I needed was a snippy, p**sy Yankee all along!
Take this superstitious city, add one little Jew from Brooklyn
Plus a college education and a mousy little wife,
And big news! Real big news!
That poor sucker saved my life!
So give him fangs, give him horns,
Give him scaly, hairy palms!
Have him droolin' out the corner of his mouth!
He's a master of disguise!
Check those bug-out creepy eyes!
Sure, that fella's here to rape the whole damned South!
They'll be bangin' down my door,
Yellin' "More, Craig, more!"
"Call for justice! We need justice!
Beat the bastard! Kill the bum!"
Big news! Real big news!
My saviour has finally come!